


NYE Pact Mentality

by relenafanel



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Cheesy, Comedy, Dating, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Resolutions, Roommates, Snark, Social Media, a year in the life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13231551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relenafanel/pseuds/relenafanel
Summary: “I came out to Peggy last night. We were playing a game where everyone made up one resolution and then put them in a hat. I got ‘find a boyfriend’.”“You came out to me this morning,” Bucky observed, squinting at him.  “I think.  Jesus, I’m pretty sure I drank that whole bottle of vodka myself.  Since when have you wanted to find a boyfriend?”(Also known as millennials spending a year trying to find love and falling on a lot of dicks instead)





	NYE Pact Mentality

**Author's Note:**

> This is super cheesy and devolves into not!fic at one point, but it's also a fantastically hilarious (probably) way to ring in 2018.
> 
> Written in two hours, so... cracky fluff.

**December 31 st: nearing midnight.**

_Find a boyfriend_ , the piece of paper said. Peggy read it over his shoulder, making an amused sound as she reached for it.  “Well that one isn’t for you. Try again,” she said, her red nails brushing against the sheet as she shook the sun hat with random New Year’s resolutions written by other party-goers.  “The catch of being the only man invited to an all-female party is no one strives for gender neutrality. I’m disappointed, frankly.  I expected more from my friends than heteronormativity. ”

Steve pulled it away from her grasp.  “No,” he answered firmly, shoving the paper in his pocket.  “I think this is the one.”

Peggy observed him for a moment, her eyebrow winging up slightly at the tip, the only sign that he’d surprised her even slightly.  “Well, then,” she smiled, her fingers resting on his shoulder for a non-verbal show of support.  “Take a shot.”

The tequila went down sharp, and there was nothing like cementing a new year by ensuring that you woke up hung over on the first of January with a commitment burning a hole in your pocket.  The game had been for fun, Steve knew that.  He didn’t need to actually make finding a boyfriend his resolution for 2017.

But.

But.

Why not?

(because Steve was terrible at flirting with strangers, for one)

*

“You’re so drunk,” Nat observed, pulling the bottle of vodka away from him.

“So drunk,” Bucky agreed with a grin, smiling up at her as she took a drink directly from the bottle.  “Where’s people?” he questioned, squinting behind her.  “It’s almost midnight. Shouldn’t there be people?”

“Not when you decide drinking alone is how you want to spend your evening,” she pointed out, ever rational, as she took a seat beside him.  It was chilly on the balcony, but the worst of the wind was blocked by the building across from them.  Bucky had gotten used to the chill and the way his scarf half obscured his mouth every time he took a drink from the vodka bottle.  Nat, somehow, despite the fact she was wearing less layers than he was, looked like she didn’t even feel the cold.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Bucky said mournfully.

“I know,” she responded, patting his knee in sympathy.

“You know everything,” Bucky pointed out, making a face at her and taking his bottle back.

“It is what you texted me forty-five minutes ago.”  Natasha’s voice was neutral and that was exactly what he needed. No judging.

“I mean it,” Bucky promised.  “I’m going to meet someone this year, and they’re gonna stick.”

*

“I came out to Peggy last night,” Steve told Bucky, feeling haggard as he downed a glass of orange juice and winced as the acid hit his stomach.  He chased it with a handful of cold fries and paused to see if everything would stay down.  When it seemed like he wouldn’t be diving for the kitchen sink any time soon, he took a bite of his burger.  It was soggy, but that was what happened when you bought fast food before passing out for the night.  Drunk Steve knew how to take care of Sober Steve, or at least the intent was there.

Bucky stared at him over his mug of coffee.

“We were playing a game where everyone made up one resolution and then put them in a hat. I got  _‘find a boyfriend’_.” Steve burped and his stomach lurched, and for one terrifying moment he was on the precipice of projectile vomiting until everything settled again.  “Eugh, sorry,” he muttered, resting his forehead on the cool kitchen table for a second.  “Where’s the line between still being drunk and being hung over? I think I just reached it.”

When he looked up Bucky was still staring at him.

“What?” Steve frowned at him, taking in the way Bucky’s eyes weren’t as glassy as he’d expect for someone who completely checked out of reality.  Bucky’s focus on him was actually pretty sharp for how terrible he looked.  Bucky looked worse than Steve felt, so that was saying something.

“You came out to  _me_  this morning,” Bucky observed, squinting at him.  “I think.  Jesus, I’m pretty sure I drank that whole bottle of vodka myself.  Since when have you wanted to find a boyfriend?”

“We talked about identifying as bisexual like three weeks ago,” Steve stared at him in confusion.  He’d told Bucky first! Bucky was always the one who knew things about him, and that included the fact that Steve had started questioning his sexuality, even though he’d gotten through his teen years with an open mind towards the possibilities and hadn’t even noticed it was a possibility.  

Bucky continued to gaze at him, his brow crumpling in bewilderment.

“Oh for… you read my blog!”

“Not all the time.  You text me everything you put on there, sometimes first.  It gets repetitive to read the highlights reel of conversations I’ve already had. You have a tag that’s  _shit the bff says._ I know everything on your blog before you post it because  _you tell me_.”

That was… accurate.

“Except apparently coming out to your internet followers and your ex-girlfriend before you come out to your best friend.”

“I figured you… saw it coming.”

Bucky’s head banged against the table.  “I’m going back to bed,” he said in a thick tone.  “And then we’re going to spend 2017 ignoring the fact we have the same resolution.  We already do everything together.”

“Well,” Steve answered, amused.  “At least we’ll always have each other.  And, hey! Now we can make a side-pact.  Let’s say that if we’re still single in eleven months…”

Bucky gave him the middle finger.

*

**January:**

“So,” Peggy said in a meaningful tone the moment Steve got up to go wash his hands before the food arrived.  Bucky wasn’t sure exactly how his hands could have picked up germs inside his heavy gloves, but Steve’s habits were so ingrained there was no reasoning with him. It was a good thing Sam had cancelled on them seeing as the fourth chair at the table was piled with all of their winter wear.  It was cold as tits outside… or something.  Why were tits cold? They always seemed pretty warm to Bucky… maybe that wasn’t the expression?

Considering the direction of Bucky’s thoughts, Peggy’s question felt like it came out of no where: “Are you going to get on that?”

“Get on what?” Bucky echoed.

Peggy gave him a sarcastic, unimpressed look and cast her eyes towards where Steve had disappeared into the bathroom.

Get on Steve?

“No!” Bucky responded.

Why would he want to  _get on_  Steve? Why was it the moment he thought ‘I’m going to get serious about relationships’ everyone looked at Steve? Was it because they thought that if Bucky was settling down and Steve was out looking for dick that the universe was aligning?

Fuck that.

*

**February:**

“I’m going to do you a favor,” Steve said, standing in front of the television with his arms crossed over his chest.  Bucky lifted the remote in his hand and pointed it at Steve with a glare. Whatever he was watching stopped, throwing the room into silence.  Bucky looked like he’d been living on the couch for the last week, even though Steve knew he hadn’t been.  One month into Bucky’s resolution and he’d already resigned himself to being single. It was sad.

“Is it getting the fuck out of the way of the newest episode of  _The Americans_? Thanks bud,” Bucky responded sarcastically.  “Great favor.”

“No. It’s getting your ass up off the couch and out of the house.”

“No.”

“I’m going to a singles mixer.”

“NO,” Bucky said emphatically, his eyes widening.

“And you’re coming with me.” Steve resisted the urge to smirk.  He’d had to work himself up to this point, but now that he was committed, nothing was going to stop him.  If Bucky was along for the ride, all the better.

“There is no way in hell,” Bucky resisted, balking as Steve grabbed his arm and physically hauled him into a standing position.   “Quit manhandling me, you lug,” Bucky resisted, but not too hard. He was fully capable of getting out of Steve’s grasp and they both knew it.  

“Put on real pants,” Steve answered, giving Bucky a nudge towards his bedroom.  

“You’re a jerk,” Bucky said, leaving his door partially opened as he went to change.  “The only reason I’m doing anything is the potential to laugh at how bad you are at this. I should start a Twitter account. _Shit Steve Rogers says trying to talk to attractive people as though he isn’t the hottest damn person in the room_.”

He fucking would, too.

“I think that’s too long to be a Twitter handle.”

“You’d know, since you’re so good at blogging all your most intimate details,” Bucky sniped back, emerging from his room with the appearance of someone who had just spent an hour doing his hair and not of someone who had been eating Cocoa Puffs out of the box for the last thirty minutes.  Steve squinted at him, hoping there was something he could comment on to give Bucky shit, but there wasn’t.  “What?” Bucky questioned, confrontationally.

“How do you manage that?”  Steve questioned, gesturing to Bucky’s everything.

Bucky smiled, smug as he ran his hand down his side.  “See something you like?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered with a tight smile, eyeing Bucky dubiously.  “That shirt.  I own something exactly like it,” he finished with a meaningful pluck of the material away from Bucky’s side.

“Imagine that,” Bucky answered sarcastically.  “See, I could have sworn this was mine, but maybe you should stop wearing the same size as me!  In fact, just for that, I’m going to put my hoodie back on.”

Steve was pretty sure that at some point that hoodie had belonged to him as well. “You could, but you already made the effort to get off the couch.”

It shouldn’t be an argument, but Bucky reached for his nice jacket instead, acting like he was completely put out.  

(Steve was worse at single mixers than anyone could have foreseen.)

(Bucky was no help because he spent the entire time on his phone like a complete asshole of a best friend.)

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

OP: this cheese is delicious. Steve: I’m lactose intolerant. U don’t want 2 know what would happen if I ate that. Bad things. *eats it*

**@mypalSteve:**  Self destructive while nervous.

**@mypalSteve:**  oops there he goes to the bathroom.

*

**March:**

“So then,” Bucky said with a laugh as Steve planted his head in his hands, “Steve looks the man in the eye and says ‘Did you just call her a bitch? I don’t have time for misogynistic assholes’ and the guy says, 'I can’t be misogynistic, I’m a gay man’ and Steve gets his great face of justice on and responds 'I didn’t realize gay men were exempt from human decency. If that’s your definition of what it is to be a gay man then I’m not into your dick anymore because I know how to treat other people with respect.’

Sam nodded. “I can’t see that conversation going any other way.  Why is Steve embarrassed?”

“Oh, it’s what came next,” Bucky responded, taking way too much actual delight from the story.

“Buck,” Steve whined.  “You don’t have to.”

Bucky thought he did.  He was just opening his mouth to respond when the guy sitting alone at the table next to them looked over and met Bucky’s eye.  “Sorry to interrupt,” he said, “but I wish more people thought the way your friend does.”

“Oh,” Bucky said in delight, kicking Steve under the table so he sat up like the responsible adult he was and faced the fact he was gay hipster catnip.  “Well have you met my pal, Steve?”

The stranger looked at Steve delighted. “Oh my god! I love your Twitter.”

“Actually,” Steve smiled sheepishly, running his hand through his hair. Then Steve did something that horrified Bucky down to his very soul and gestured at him. “Bucky runs it. I wouldn’t be as funny as he is.”

Jesus. Fuck. Steve was undoing all the social-media-brohood-wingmanship Bucky had been cultivating in the last month and a half in one fell swoop.

“I have great inspiration,” he said through gritted teeth.

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

OP: Love your twitter. Steve: actually my friend runs it. Have you met him? I’m not as funny. Me: FFS STEVE HE’S FLIRTING W UR DUMB ASS.

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

I’m really glad this account is now popular with the gays. According to Sex & the City we’ve made it.

*pic of Absolut Hunk ad*

**@mypalSteve**  Also Steve’s abs are better jsyk nyc.

*

**April:**

“Come on,” Steve prodded.  “You don’t want to end up with me at the end of December, right?”

“That wasn’t a real pact,” Bucky pointed out.  “I’m not a fifteen year old girl.”

“It’s sad that you think fifteen year old girls are the only ones who do pacts.  I seem to remember you making one yourself when you were twenty.  What was it again?”

“That I would only ever drink Keystone for the rest of my life,” Bucky answered, full of resentment, because if he didn’t say it, Steve would.  And when Steve said it, it would sound a lot more self-satisfied. Bucky didn’t have the energy to punch Steve in the face.  “Alright,” he said, putting on a down vest.  “Let’s go to the farmer’s market to scope out men.  If you hit on a lesbian again by accident I’m totally tweeting about it.”

Steve didn’t hit on anyone attracted to women.  Steve hit on a large lumberjackesque man with a toque and a beard and no sense of irony.

He didn’t own a twitter.

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

Steve: he looks like Jason Momoa in Frontier. Steve: I probably should have learned more about anal. Me: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**@mypalSteve** : *Avatar the last Airbender “That’s Rough Buddy” GIF*

*

**@mypalSteve** : OH JESUS HE’S LIMPING HE REALLY SHOULDA.

*

**May:**

“Do you want to go to the Farmer’s Market?”

Steve looked up from the painting he was working on.  “Turns out I’m allergic to patchouli.  It gave me a rash.”

“Not even close to what I asked.”

“I need to take a break from sex for a while.”  

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “You don’t need to take a break from sex.  You just need to not climb on a dick that looks like a tree trunk.”

“Yeah? When was the last time you got some?”

“It’s a dry period ok?”

“Anyway,” Steve continued.  “I have a date on Friday with a guy who was in the emergency room when I went in for—” and at that his cheeks went a bright and vibrant red.

Bucky stared at him.  “Well,” he said in a choked voice and wondered if Steve  _medically_  couldn’t have sex for a while.  

“Peggy took me,” Steve continued, somehow managing to look guilty.  “I figured she was less likely to laugh.”

Bucky continued to stare at him.

“I was wrong.”

*

**June:**

“So, like,” Bucky said, emerging from his bedroom wearing a shirt that only looked opaque in a room with absolutely no lights in it.  “Decide.  Do you want a relationship or do you just want to climb back on the horse again?”

“Can you even walk in those pants?” Steve asked.

“No, and that’s the point.  I’m not going to be doing too much walking if you catch my drift.  I’ll walk into the club.  I’ll walk out of the club.  And, quite possibly, I’ll do the walk that-would-be-shame-if-I-had-any in the morning.”

“I thought you wanted to find love.”

“I thought it would be easier! I sit in coffee shops for hours, but all anyone ever wants is coffee.”

Steve stared at him and then picked up his phone.  “I’m starting a Twitter called My Pal Bucky Thinks Life Is a Rom Com.”

“It is, you dick.  The trick is to see it when it happens. So are you coming with me willingly or am I going to have to force you into that shirt that you can see your nipples through?”

“Which one?”

Which one, he says. WHICH ONE.  “ _Pick one!”_

*

Steve wandered home at 9 am and blinked wildly at Bucky when he found him eating toast and lounging against the kitchen counter.

“Boyfriend material?”

“God no,” Steve answered, plucking the toast out of Bucky’s hand and cramming the rest into his mouth.  

*

**July:**

“I don’t know,” Bucky whined to Nat.  “Steve has spent the year slutting it up – and look, I’m not being demeaning, he said it first.”

“I really don’t care.”

“So Steve has had sex with at least 4 different men by my count, which is great for him, but I haven’t been on a single date since December, let alone had sex. I just… don’t want to with anyone if it won’t lead to something meaningful, but I don’t know how to cultivate that connection.  It’s hard.”

“You’re ready,” Nat told him, passing him over a phone number.  “This is a guy I work with.  Cute.  Funny. Wants what you want.”

*

**August:**

“How’s the boyf?” Steve asked, dripping sweat from his run.  He was, at least, wearing a shirt.  As though Steve was secreting ‘I’m into dick now’ hormones he tended to draw male attention at the gym in a really profound way.  Bucky missed that a little.

Ok, a lot. He thought it was time to settle down and suddenly his thighs weren’t the currency they used to be.

“Good, but… I don’t know.  Am I supposed to find him annoying?”

Steve picked up a weight.  “Annoying how?”

Bucky winced.  “He’s just… annoying, ok?  Stupid nitpicky stuff.  Like, he actually called himself my boyfriend last week and we haven’t talked about it yet, and he breathes heavily through his nose sometimes and it whistles?  I don’t know.”

“Break up with him.”

“For nose whistling?”

Steve actually stopped his rep to face him.  “No, for the fact you’re already getting frustrated by the small things. That happens.  It does.  But it’s only been a month.  Break up with him.”

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

Steve: I think that guy on the treadmill is checking me out. Me: Which one. At least 3 have looked at your ass today. Steve: LOL no as if.

**@mypalSteve:** *GIF of Steve’s ass flexing*

**@mypalSteve:**  posted with permission ofc

**@mypalSteve:** you see the problem.

**@gays5br00klin** : @mypalSteve wow. I’d do him.

**@mypalSteve:**  @gays5br00klin Steve would never go for someone who can’t spell Brooklyn.

*

**September:**

“Should we go out tonight?” Steve asked.

“No.”

“But…”

“No.”

*

**October:**

(October is censored due to Steve and Bucky getting too drunk at a Halloween party to remember much of anything)

(they didn’t fuck each other if that’s what you’re thinking)

(probably)

(there’d be more proof)

*

**November:**

“I’m going on a second date!” Steve said with pride.  “This might be the one.”

“Goody for you,” Bucky said sarcastically and stuffed his face with more cocoa puffs and continued watching Pride and Prejudice. He totally got Mr. Darcy now.

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

[1/2] Steve: I’m open minded. Right? Me: I guess. Steve: Do you think it’s normal to introduce someone to your weird foot fetish on the second date? Me: Probably not? How weird?

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

[2/2] Steve: There was a tub involved. And a pumice stone. It was like a pedicure but then he wanted me to pour the dirty water over his dick. Me: Nope I’m out. Steve: I thought so too, but then I thought… free pedicure?

**@mypalSteve** : Point and case Brooklyn, Steve will try a lot of things once.

*

**December:**

“I can’t believe I completely failed,” Bucky said miserably, staring into a bottle of beer as though the unfathomable depths held the answer to the universe instead of just a mild buzz.

“Well,” Steve answered, nudging his shoulder against Bucky’s.  “You’ve always got me.”

Bucky snorted and put his beer down on the railing.  The elbows of his jacket felt crispy from the layer of snow coating them, but he kept leaning against the railing anyway.  “Yeah,” he answered sardonically.  “I’ll always have you, buddy.”

From where they were standing they couldn’t hear what was happening in Times Square, but the party-goers counting along with the television feed helped narrow down the time on the clock.

Nine.

“I think I need more than just you.  I’d miss sex.”  Bucky observed.

Seven.

And then: “It would be convenient, wouldn’t it?”

Five.

“What would?” Steve questioned.

Three.

“Us,” Bucky finished.

One.

At the count of midnight, Bucky reached out and locked his hands around Steve’s lapel, dragging him forward and kissing him, because  _hell_.  Why not? He kind of missed Steve’s mouth, so it was an awkward mash of lips against chin.  Steve was surprisingly warm, even as he pulled away laughing.

Bucky had a habit of getting introspective outside in the cold, and it was a fucking freezing end to 2017.

“What are you?” Steve asked, rocking forward as Bucky’s hands slid into the back pocket of his jeans.  Normally, that would be a sexy motion that would leave Bucky grinding against his make-out partner, but Bucky got the distinct feeling Steve shifted his hips because Bucky’s hands surprised him.

That was fine to Bucky, since his intent wasn’t a hundred percent getting his hands on Steve’s ass.

Or even fifty percent.

It was zero percent.

“Are you trying to warm your fingers?” Steve finished incredulously.

“It’s really cold out here!”

“Fine,” Steve answered, shoving his cold nose into the space below Bucky’s ear. It made him yelp and flinch, but they were now locked so tightly together that he wasn’t able to move far enough away.

“Well this was a rousing success,” Bucky griped as Steve rubbed his nose against his neck.  He better not be snotty, that ass.  “Ok, let’s try this for real.  On three?”

“No, let’s just,” Steve answered, leaning forward the last few inches needed for them to kiss. Their mouths met, tentatively at first until Steve shifted his stance, tilting his face so they were better aligned.  His fingers brushed against Bucky’s jaw as he encouraged Bucky to get into it.

Bucky wished he could say it was like kissing his brother.  That might make it easier in the end.

But it wasn’t.

*

**Steve’s Flirting Fails @mypalSteve:**

Ok so I totally just had sex with my pal Steve. Life IS a Rom Com Steve.

**Author's Note:**

> [You can find me on the tumbles.](http://relenafanel.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Reblog the fic.](http://relenafanel.tumblr.com/post/169176243313/the-new-years-eve-pact-stevebucky-pg-13)


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